“You know your tailbone? It used to be a tail. That pink part in the corner of your eye? Your third eyelid. The appendix used to help us digest tough foods. Now it does nothing. The story of our evolution is the story of what we leave behind, what we’ve discarded. Our bodies only hang on to the things we absolutely need. The things we no longer have use for, we give up, we let go.
Why does it feel so good to get rid of things? To unload? To let go? Maybe because when we see how little we need to survive, it makes us realize how powerful we actually are. To strip down to what we really need. To hang on to only what we can’t do without. Not just to survive but to thrive.”—Meredith Grey (Season10, Ep.15-Throwing It All Away)
A Daddy’s Letter to his Little Girl About Her Future Husband
June 19, 2013
Dr. Kelly Flanigan is a therapist who has seen women who needs a good man in their life time and time again. He wanted to write a letter to not only his little girl, but to every woman out there. It’s a fantastic reminder of what a man needs to be to his wife.
Dear Cutie-Pie, Recently, your mother and I were searching for an answer on Google. Halfway through entering the question, Google returned a list of the most popular searches in the world. Perched at the top of the list was “How to keep him interested.” It startled me. I scanned several of the countless articles about how to be sexy and sexual, when to bring him a beer versus a sandwich, and the ways to make him feel smart and superior. And I got angry.
Little One, it is not, has never been, and never will be your job to “keep him interested.” Little One, your only task is to know deeply in your soul—in that unshakeable place that isn’t rattled by rejection and loss and ego—that you are worthy of interest. (If you can remember that everyone else is worthy of interest also, the battle of your life will be mostly won. But that is a letter for another day.)
If you can trust your worth in this way, you will be attractive in the most important sense of the word: you will attract a boy who is both capable of interest and who wants to spend his one life investing all of his interest in you.
Little One, I want to tell you about the boy who doesn’t need to be kept interested, because he knows you are interesting:
I don’t care if he puts his elbows on the dinner table—as long as he puts his eyes on the way your nose scrunches when you smile. And then can’t stop looking.
I don’t care if he can’t play a bit of golf with me—as long as he can play with the children you give him and revel in all the glorious and frustrating ways they are just like you.
I don’t care if he doesn’t follow his wallet—as long as he follows his heart and it always leads him back to you.
I don’t care if he is strong—as long as he gives you the space to exercise the strength that is in your heart.
I couldn’t care less how he votes—as long as he wakes up every morning and daily elects you to a place of honor in your home and a place of reverence in his heart.
I don’t care about the color of his skin—as long as he paints the canvas of your lives with brushstrokes of patience, and sacrifice, and vulnerability, and tenderness.
I don’t care if he was raised in this religion or that religion or no religion—as long as he was raised to value the sacred and to know every moment of life, and every moment of life with you, is deeply sacred.
In the end, Little One, if you stumble across a man like that and he and I have nothing else in common, we will have the most important thing in common: You.
Because in the end, Little One, the only thing you should have to do to “keep him interested” is to be you.
“But let there be space in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
Love one another, but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous,
But let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.”—Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet